Today's Ask Joy Blog: (or rather the one that never got posted on Friday... woops!)
MARILYN FROM WICHITA ASKS: "I KNOW THAT AT A DINNER PARTY THE HOST SITS AT THE HEAD OF THE TABLE AND THE HOSTESS SITS NEXT TO HER, BUT HOW DO I SEAT THE REST OF MY GUESTS?"
Actually..... seating depends on the formality of the party. Many many people assume that at a formal dinner the host and hostess sit next to each other as do their coupled guests.
For the liveliest and most comfortable of seating arrangements this is not necessarily the best way to go. Couples already know one another, and thus needn't sit together... especially if on the drive over they have found reasons NOT to want to sit together, as unfortunately can happen on the way to a social commitment... but I digress
The Formal Dinner
At a formal dinner, the host sits at one end of the table and the hostess at the other, Yep, you read that right. The hostess actually sits at the end of the table, not next to her husband. The female guest of honor is seated at the right of the host. The male guest of honor is seated at the right of the hostess.
The exception to this would be the 8, 12, or 16 person dinner party, in which case the seating configuration would result in 2 women seated together. In such a case the hostess would move one place to the left, and the most 'important' or 'honoured' man would sit at the end of the table in her place.
As far as placement goes, similarity is far more important than any boy-girl-boy-girl configuration. Seat people next to those with whom they have something in common, thus creating the opportunity for pleasant and meaningful conversation.
A rule of thumb in days gone by was to seat and serve guests with the eldest persons being placed in seats of honour.... i know very few people in today's society who would want to be singled out because of advancing years... besides.... what if you were wrong! Yikes.
Remember to that it is not just who one is seated NEXT to, but across from as well. I much prefer to chat with someone i can see across the table, rather than need to turn my neck at a 45 degree angle to look in the eye. So by all means do sit interesting people who may hit it off across from one another.
The Informal Dinner
Given that this get together is INformal, it is more of an anything goes setup, taking into account special needs, children, proximity to the buffet (if applicable)... the hostess tends to sit closest to the kitchen in order to replenish drinks and dishes as needed. The idea is to put people at ease... and allow them to put themselves where they think they will be most comfortable.
CONGRATS MARILYN, YOUR 'ASK JOY' QUESTION EARNED YOU 500 BANGLES & BENIES REWARDS POINTS!!!
joyfully yours,
J.
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