Happiness is as happiness does

We all want happiness. Its pursuit was deemed so vital an ‘unalieable’ right by our founding fathers that they penned it into our country’s charter.  But what exactly is this thing called happiness?  How can you describe it?  How can you quantify it?  These questions and more exist at the core of Positive Psychology, or the Science of Happiness. 

The preponderance of 20^th Century psychology has dealt with the “disease model” of the mind, focusing on what makes human beings mentally unhealthy. Abraham Maslow’s “self-actualization” brought attention to qualities of the optimal experience.  But it wasn’t until 1998 that happiness became a focus of study, when Martin Seligman delivered an address to the American Psychological Association, calling for his colleagues’ return to the roots of their discipline, identifying and realizing what makes for an extraordinary human life experience.  

Their subsequent work has produced findings many consider surprising.  For instance, most blue-collar working folk are as happy as rich people, and teenagers from working class families describe themselves as happier than teenagers from affluent families.  Surveys in many countries conducted over decades indicate that, on average, happiness levels have not increased over the last four decades, despite significant increases in real income per capita. 

Research bears out that once your basic needs are met, additional income does little to raise your sense of life satisfaction. Same goes for education, weather and youth.  Even spending time with the kids failed to top the charts.  When it comes to marriage, “it’s complicated.”  Married people tend to be happier than singles, but it is suggested that may be because they were happier to begin with.  As for success, it has been concluded that happiness brings success, not the other way around

The Road to Happyville

So what then makes us happiest? Faith, family friends.  In a world where so many of us relate electronically it is noteworthy that Positive Psychologists stress the importance of social skills and support through close interpersonal ties, however those are cultivated.  

After reading a dozen or so self-proclaimed definitive “Top #” lists promising the keys to the happiness kingdom, here is what they collectively boiled down to when it comes to how to get happy.  (put in c’mon get happy vid here)

• gratitude
• acts of altruism
• relationships, emotional intimacy... and forgiveness 
• meaningful vocations or avocations. getting involved in something bigger than yourself
• savoring the present moment
• meditation

So are there any benefits to this happiness business above and beyond the obvious?  Plenty. Happiness seems to have nearly magical properties.  Just as stress can trigger ill health, so can friendship and happiness have a salubrious effect. The current science suggests it leads to longer life, better health, greater resilience and improved performance in most pursuits. It can add 9 years to life... that’s 3 times as many years as the increase in life expectancy associated with quitting smoking!

And the best news of all?  It’s highly contagious!

What makes you happy?  Please share your thoughts and joy on Facebook. 

The Merchant of Venus

A drama about a pound of flesh

by Joie de Vivre

I ate whatever I wanted on Thanksgiving day... and the day after.... and the day after.

That's how long it took to go through all the leftovers :)

I also gained weight.

I may be making a great assumption here, but I am going to guess I am not the only person in America to have done so.  I am also going to go out on quite the long limb by saying that I imagine there is a slew of holiday revelers who are kicking themselves, if not starving themselves, in the festivities' aftermath.

They have vowed to stop eating for the rest of the year.  Gotta fit into that little black NYE dress. After all, they fought long and hard for it on Black Friday, having to camp out all night at the mall and dodge the random stream of pepper spray.

But ya know what.... it's just weight.  Our physical pounds may come and go.. or come and keep on coming at times.  But the goodwill and delightful memories we keep from our holiday revelings stay with us long after the calories have been burned off. Plus, if you washed enough Thanksgiving dinner dishes you may have burned them off already!

Is it really worth letting a few excess pounds of flesh take away our joy this season?  Or can we resolve to enjoy ourselves and one another during this sweet time of year. There will be plenty of opportunities to drop those pounds, and to look at every circumstance during the holiday frenzy as a chance to live the axiom of 'peace on earth, good will toward men". 

Next time you can't find a parking spot close to the shop door, smile -- you get to expend a few more calories.  Is there a person in a rush behind you in the checkout line?  Why not make their day and let them go ahead of you?  What a lovely holiday gift to offer a stranger, your time, your attention and your respect.

You will never appear lovelier than when you share love and kindness.  Your smile and thoughtfulness will get those 'likes' and kind comments on the holiday Facebook photos you post far faster than if you focused on acquiring a rocket body and neglected those who love you.

You can lose the weight -- promise.

So go celebrate life with those you love.  It will put roses in your cheeks and a spring in your step.. and you will look beautiful. 

Thoroughly Modern Miserables?

Women are getting everything we wanted -- so why aren't we happier?
by Joie de Vivre

Regarding the state of the modern woman, Kate Mulvey of The Times UK writes, "The widespread view is that accomplished women are at a disadvantage in the marriage market because men start out by saying they want a strong, powerful woman and then end up running off with the secretary....... Since 1975 the number of women entering the workforce has increased by a third and in 2005 one-third of all managers were women. Women are better educated – there are more women with advanced degrees than before – and there are now more female trainee lawyers and doctors than male ones."

Vicki Haddock writes in the San Francisco Chronicle, "Factor in an unprecedented level of education, greater earning power, more economic independence, more reproductive control and access to virtually any career, from CEO to soldier to leader of the free world. In theory, at least, a woman's prospects for happiness have never looked brighter.....  Yet the paradox: Two recent studies reveal that a majority of American women are finding the holy grail of happiness more elusive. Researchers were startled to find that women now report less happiness than in the early 1970s; and where they once indicated greater levels of happiness and life satisfaction than men, that's now reversed."

Despite better education, higher paying jobs and husbands increasingly willing to pitch in domestically, the common lament is, "I'm just not happy.  I've lost my joy."  And it looks like this trend does not favor a certain female age group, pay grade, marital status or ethnicity.  So just why is it that while salaries have gone up and technology has taken up some of the chore-related slack, women have not become smilier?


Unsettling as it may seem, my research on this topic raised more questions than answers! I admit to having a tad of prescience when it comes to trend spotting.  A few years back I noticed a palpable absence of joy among the women with whom I came in contact.  Finally, last year I determined to put a stop to the madness by starting a female-centric business dedicated to helping women rediscover their joy. 

In determining the approach to take in accomplishing this tricky task, I chose what to me is the most liberating, empowering, beautiful and joyful activity a woman can engage in on her own -- dance.  And not just the time-honored American forms of tap, ballet and jazz.  Nope, I am talking about the stuff that reminds women of what it feels like to be them, and reminds them what it feel like to be beautiful -- Bellydance, Polynesian, Jazz age Charleston, classic Burlesque, Salsa and so on.  I especially like the dance forms practiced sans shoes. It's just so darn freeing.


Ironically, of the five women I had recruited to join me in this cause, all have had their own conflicts that have precluded their total involvement, despite their enthusiasm.  In short, they are just as busy and stressed out as the women they seek to serve!  So then, what to do... throw in the towel?  Not a bit of it.  The heavy setbacks I've encountered have shown me ever more clearly the need to act as a standard-bearer for joy. So I have rethought the business, am beginning to implement changes and to regain my own joy, which had been on hiatus this Summer. 

~ * ~

To get down to the brass tacks of what really makes us humans happy, here is a blog post I wrote on this very subject, done a couple of months ago for a sweet company for whom I was volunteering: Happiness Is as Happiness Does.